How to Control Anger: A Denver Therapist’s Effective Strategies for Men
Anger is a normal human emotion—every man feels it. But when anger becomes overwhelming, constant, or hard to control, it can start affecting your relationships, your work performance, and how you feel about yourself. Many men in Denver come to therapy not because they’re “angry people,” but because they’re tired of snapping at loved ones, feeling on edge, or carrying tension they can’t seem to shake.
If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t want to react like this, but it just happens,” you’re not alone. Anger isn’t a sign that you’re broken or out of control—it simply means you haven’t been taught the tools to manage it. Most men were raised to hide emotions like sadness, fear, disappointment, or hurt, which means anger often becomes the default outlet.
As a therapist who works with men across Denver, here are some of the most effective strategies I teach clients to help them understand, manage, and ultimately control anger in healthier ways.
1. Recognize the Early Signs Before Anger Peaks
Anger rarely comes out of nowhere. It usually builds beneath the surface long before it erupts. The challenge is that many men don’t recognize the early cues until it’s too late.
Common early signs include:
Tightness in your chest, jaw, or fists
Feeling hot or restless
Clenching your teeth
Feeling irritable or impatient
Pacing or difficulty sitting still
Thoughts becoming sharper or more critical
If you can catch anger at a 3 or 4 out of 10, it’s far easier to manage than when you're already at a 9.
Therapy tip: Track your physical cues. When you notice them, step away, breathe, or take a brief pause. Early intervention prevents escalation.
2. Understand What’s Beneath the Anger
Anger is often called a “secondary emotion” because it covers something deeper—usually an emotion that wasn’t safe or acceptable to express growing up.
For many men, anger hides:
Feeling disrespected
Feeling powerless
Fear of failure
Shame
Loneliness
Hurt
Stress or overwhelm
If you grew up hearing messages like “man up,” “don’t cry,” or “be strong,” you may have learned that anger is the only acceptable emotional outlet.
Therapy helps men explore:
What is this anger protecting?
What did I feel right before I got angry?
Where does this pattern come from?
Understanding the root gives you control over the reaction.
3. Use the 90-Second Rule to Stay Grounded
Neuroscience tells us that when anger is triggered, the brain’s emotional response lasts about 90 seconds—unless we fuel it with more thoughts.
When you notice anger rising, take 90 seconds to pause before reacting.
You can:
Take slow breaths
Step outside
Sip water
Stretch your body
Count backward
Look at something calming in the room
These small actions interrupt the automatic anger cycle and help your brain shift out of fight-or-flight mode.
Many men describe this technique as a “pressure valve release”—it gives the mind a chance to reset before saying or doing something you regret.
4. Build Healthier Outlets for Stress and Emotion
Anger becomes unmanageable when it’s the only outlet your body has for pressure. That’s why one of the most powerful tools for controlling anger is developing multiple ways to discharge stress.
Effective outlets include:
Regular exercise (weights, running, cycling)
Cold exposure or cold showers
Yoga or stretching
Journaling
Listening to music
Talking with a trusted friend
Spending time in nature (Denver’s trails help with this)
Creating daily or weekly rituals lowers your baseline stress level and keeps anger from building in the first place.
5. Strengthen Emotional Communication Skills
One of the most common frustrations men experience is not knowing how to express what they feel without sounding defensive or blowing up. You might think you're being clear, but your partner or coworker hears frustration instead of vulnerability.
Therapy through our online practice in Denver helps men develop language such as:
“I’m feeling overwhelmed and need a moment.”
“I’m frustrated because this feels unfair.”
“I need more clarity before I can move forward.”
“I’m upset, but I want to talk about this calmly.”
When you have the vocabulary to talk about emotion, anger loses its grip.
6. Identify Your Triggers and Create a Plan
Anger triggers are deeply personal. They might include:
Feeling criticized
Being interrupted
Feeling ignored
Work pressure
Traffic (a big one in Denver)
Financial stress
Parenting challenges
Feeling trapped or out of control
By identifying triggers, you can prepare anger management strategies in advance rather than reacting impulsively.
For example:
If mornings with your kids are stressful, create a calmer routine.
If work emails spike your tension, schedule buffer time.
If driving triggers you, use music or a podcast to stay grounded.
Planning ahead is a powerful form of self-leadership.
7. Practice Repair After an Outburst
Even men who work hard on their anger may slip up. What matters most is how you handle things afterward.
A healthy repair sounds like:
“I’m sorry for how I reacted. You didn’t deserve that.”
“I was overwhelmed, and I’m working on responding differently.”
“Can we revisit this when I’m calmer?”
Repair builds trust and shows growth.
When to Consider Professional Help: Online Therapy in Colorado
If anger is affecting your relationships, work performance, sleep, health, or self-esteem, therapy can be incredibly effective. Counseling helps men:
Understand their emotional patterns
Learn tools to stay in control
Build healthier communication
Reduce shame
Heal underlying stress or wounds
Become more grounded and confident
Men often say therapy helps them feel calmer, more connected, and more like the person they want to be.
Final Thoughts From an Online Men’s Therapist in Denver, CO
Anger doesn’t make you a bad person—it makes you human. But learning to control anger is one of the most powerful steps a man can take toward better mental health, healthier relationships, and a more grounded life.
If you’re a man in Denver who’s tired of feeling out of control or overwhelmed by anger, therapy offers a supportive, nonjudgmental place to build the tools you’ve never been taught. With the right strategies and guidance, anger becomes something you understand—not something that controls you.
Learn to Manage Anger and Regain Control With Online Therapy for Men in Denver, Colorado
Anger can feel overwhelming, especially when it starts affecting your relationships, work, or sense of control. Online therapy for men provides a confidential, judgment-free space to understand where anger comes from and learn healthier ways to respond rather than react.
At Sunrise Counseling, we help men develop practical strategies to manage anger in ways that feel realistic and effective. Our Denver-based therapists offer online sessions that fit into your schedule, allowing you to work on emotional regulation from wherever you feel most comfortable. By removing common barriers like travel time or rigid scheduling, therapy becomes more accessible and easier to commit to—so you can focus on real change.
You don’t have to keep bottling things up or letting anger run the show. With professional guidance, you can build self-awareness, improve communication, and develop coping skills that support calmer, more confident decision-making.
How to Get Started With Online Men’s Therapy in Denver:
Reach out to our practice to schedule a consultation and discuss how therapy can help you manage anger more effectively.
Meet with an experienced online therapist for men in Denver who understands the pressures and emotional challenges men face.
Begin learning proven tools to reduce anger, manage stress, and strengthen your relationships and self-confidence.
Other Services With Sunrise Counseling Across Colorado
Anger is often a signal of deeper stress, unresolved emotions, or unmet needs. Therapy for men in Denver can help you not only learn how to control anger, but also understand what’s driving it and develop healthier ways to cope with life’s pressures.
At Sunrise Counseling, we recognize that anger rarely exists on its own. That’s why we offer a wide range of mental health services to support men through emotional challenges, both big and small. Whether you choose online therapy across Colorado and other PSYPACT states or in-person sessions at our Dallas, TX office, our therapists provide a supportive, judgment-free space for growth and change.
In addition to anger management therapy, we offer counseling for anxiety, depression, trauma, and grief. Our team also works with women, children, couples, and families, tailoring care to meet each client’s needs. We provide specialized support for OCD, pain management, postpartum depression, miscarriage, and infertility, as well as faith-based counseling for those who want to integrate spirituality into therapy. We are also proud to offer Spanish-speaking services with culturally sensitive care.
No matter what challenges you’re facing, our goal is to help you build emotional control, confidence, and healthier relationships. We invite you to explore our blog for additional insights or reach out when you’re ready to take the next step.
About the Author
Dr. James Ramarushton is a licensed psychologist in the states of Colorado and Texas. He also holds PSYPACT certification, which allows him to work with clients remotely in the majority of states in the US. Dr. Ramarushton graduated with a PhD in Counseling Psychology and a specialization in Sport Psychology from the University of North Texas, one of the premier sport psychology programs in the country. He is also certified with the Association of Applied Sport Psychology as a Certified Mental Performance Consultant.
Dr. Ramarushton enjoys working with male clients because many men have never had a space where they can speak openly and without judgment, and it’s meaningful to support them as they finally do. He appreciates helping men understand their emotions in a way that feels practical and approachable. Most of all, he values seeing men grow into healthier, more confident versions of themselves as they develop new insight, skills, and self-trust.